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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

ADHD To Do lists

So I've been spinning my wheels a bit as of late. Don't get me wrong, I am actually accomplishing more now than I ever have.

I've been to Canada where I recorded a CD and I'm going back this fall to do the music video for the title track.
I have joined an amazing writers group and am (very slowly) writing my auto-biography.
We have remodeled a couple rooms and oh my God, FINALLY finished the backyard waterfall!
I don't feel humiliated when someone attempts to walk through my front door anymore, there is a path now.
I'm working with lots of addict and alcoholic women and spent the past 18 months caring for my infant grand daughter.

MAN when you put it down, I HAVE gotten a lot accomplished!

So tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary. My husband is my hero... also my nemesis. You see he has OCD.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He likes things CLEAN, squeaky clean. Hates clutter, freaks him out.

Now mind you he knew exactly what he was getting into when he married me. I told him straight up "I don't clean and I don't cook, but other than that I'm perfect." So I don't lay guilt trips on myself, but... well I am pretty messy.

Like for instance, I start gardening and leave the tools and piles of weeds out on the lawn.
I start the laundry and smell something musty a few days later.
If I actually wash AND dry the clothes, they generally sit in a huge heap collecting wrinkles for weeks on end.
But I do put dishes in the dishwasher every few days and usually put them away in the cupboards. So I'm pretty stoked about that.

Now the kitchen table is a wonderful spot to keep... well everything. Makes it easier to find stuff than having to like walk all the way down the hall to get a hairbrush or a shoe or hammer. But if I keep everything in one location it's way easier to find.

For example, we are going camping in a week or two or whenever, anyway I have been in the garage hunting up the camping gear and ya know what I found? All my old crafting boxes! It was so cool!

I got this awesome idea for a wall hanging and drug one of the boxes into the house. It wouldn't actually fit on the kitchen table so I just put it on a chair for the time being.

Unfortunately My husband put the scissors away, and I couldn't find them. So I grabbed my keys and ran up to Walmart to get some new ones.

It's one of those Super Walmarts and has tons of stuff!

I got a couple of pop-up books for the baby and some really cheap biking shorts for myself (I don't bike but they were such a great deal) and I remembered that I was supposed to get floor mats for my car. While I was in the auto section my attention was hooked by the neatest seat covers! They have those Hawaiian flowers all over them. I wasn't sure if they would fit so I went and got one of those tape measures from the craft isle which reminded me to get the scissors. Thankfully I also remembered tomorrow was our anniversary and picked up a cake mix (I do bake on special occasions).

Now I have a history with stores. Not a particularly good history. Kind of a love hate thing going there. So I have a dear friend that I call when I get trapped. It's hard for me to know where the line of insanity shopping is though. Generally when I start crying for no reason or find myself staring an any one object for more than fifteen minutes or so, it's time to make the call.

"Laura? Laura? Help. I walked in and I can't get out."
"Where are you Tracy?"
"Super or regular?"
"Okay hon, stop for a minute. Do you know what time it is?"
"Um no." Honestly! She knows perfectly well I don't have a watch! Stores are like casinos, they don't have the time flashing around, they create an atmosphere of timelessness. I had my cell phone in my hand, but I'd have to hang up on her to find out what time it was.
"It's like eight at night. What time did you leave home? Have you eaten? Do you need to pee? Have you had anything to drink in the last few hours?"

BAM It hits me, I've been in that damn store for 3 hours wandering aimlessly. I DID have to pee and my eyes were dry from dehydration. It's always difficult for me to tell if I'm hungry or not but I had a vague memory of cereal. I couldn't swear if it was today though. Anyway, I only tell you this because it's always a good idea to have a friend for such emergencies. I have called her many times in tears, dazed and confused and she won't hang up until I'm safely out.

So I got home with my $213.44 pair of scissors plus assorted other necessities that actually did fit on the kitchen table. I was too tired to work on the project or bake the cake and I needed food. I grabbed a handful of tootsie rolls (Walmart $2.88) and a pepsi and sat down to relax.

Now I've been meaning to download some "To Do" lists to help me stay focused, so I grabbed my trusty laptop and began the search. I won't bore you with the details but lets just say it was similar to my Walmart experience.

I did find some lists and as I downloaded them I heard the familiar "bing" saying I'd gotten an e-mail. I checked through the thirty seven I hadn't opened yet today and found one from my friend Angel. She is a fellow blogger and mommy traveler through the ADHD realm. She was spared having the dis-order herself, but her delightful son Damien has enough for the both of them.

"Where are you?"
Thats all it said. Angel, another savior from cyber space with a loving reminder to get my butt back to reality, well virtual reality anyway.

So here I am. Happily posting this for you. Unfortunately the cake will not get baked tonight. I can't even see over the kitchen table. I have completely forgotten what my idea for the stupid wall hanging was or where I was going to hang it for that matter.
My husband may seriously be wondering if he will let me survive to see our sixth anniversary and I STILL have to fill out those damn "To Do" lists.

But first I need to go find the nail polish remover.

Until next time

Blessings from my ADHD head to yours


Pumpkinshellz said...

LOVED THIS! I just read a narration of my life in two minutes, LOL - I can't wait to show my husband, so I can say someone else is from my planet! :D

angel said...

Aw Tracy... you're so sweet!
I'm so glad you're back! However briefly!
Your insight into how my knucklehead's brain may be working is vital to me!
It certainly sounds like you've achieved a lot in the last few months, wow! Well done!

And happy anniversary!

3caratdiamond said...

I don't think I have laughed so hard in my life!! I thought I was alone... OMG we r clones.. I got so many of these. classic thanks for the laugh as I cruise through google trying to figure out how to clean my house and piles of piles up. I figured it sort of out.. put eveything in one room shut the door and viola! I'm sittig in a clean empty room. too clean I'm thinking cause all my books are gone from my bookshelf too. going on 4 months since moved in here and still looked like day one. this will be read by my almost gone boyfriend tomorrow so he can uderstand it's real deal
and I haven't realapsed lol

jock mctavish said...

i have different affliction than ADD but you describe a familiar place. i remember being lost in that place too. thanks for your humour. you have a gift of remembering what it feels like to beome lost inside the place of decisions and noticing things.


here's a poem i wrote a few years back you might laugh at