When I'm home alone for any length of time something strange happens. It doesn't matter if the sun in at high noon or there is a lunar eclipse in progress, I have no concept of time. I feel like a ghost floating around. Because there is no one to mirror life back at me, so I get aimless. Well, more aimless than usual.
There are ups and downs to this. The up side is, I can easily spend 14 hours playing a computer game, the down side is, I can easily spend 14 hours playing a computer game. I wander from room to room wondering what I'm doing. My chores are impossible to do. In fact the only way I can get anything done is by inviting a friend over to watch me do laundry or dishes.
One afternoon I was sitting on the patio with my friend, or was it morning? hmmmmm
Anyway where was I?
Oh yeah my friend!
She has known me for many years and I was telling her about something thrilling that had happened a couple days earlier. My husband walked outside as I was speaking and said "Tracy, that was like over a month ago!" Without hesitation, my friend said "Thats OK you've always been time challenged, it's no big deal, I'm used to it, go on."
OK stay with me here for a bit.
It never occurred to me before that my concept of time was WAY off the mark prior to this. But instantly all the pieces began falling into place.
So when my Mom said "Your room is a mess! What have you been doing all this time?" I'd have to come up with something plausible to satisfy her. "Aliens landed in the closet", "My friend came to the window covered in blood and I had to get her to the hospital", "The cat was mewing and I understood exactly what he was saying, HONEST!" (this has actually happened, but I don't take those kinds of drugs anymore), "I was secretly making a gift for you and if you don't get out at once, you will ruin the whole thing!" Anything, anything to make her stop the inquisition. Heck I had NO clue what I'd been doing. For all I could tell, it had only been seconds.
This is still really fresh for me and I don't have it all figured out yet, but I have begun trying to say the words that I've had difficulty saying in the past. Words like, "I'm sorry, I honestly don't remember when..." or, "You know, I have difficulty with time references, you could very well be right, I am probably mistaken." OUCH! Hard to say but freeing!
I had to admit that it's OK to not know.
So I hope this helps someone see inside our heads. Folks the cuckoo bird has taken a vacation from our inner clocks.
When you leave one of us home alone, were like dogs, we don't do time... but were always so happy when you come home to us.